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To The Girl Who Always Worries 

I know that times are hard and stressful and you feel like it is you against the whole world. I know it feels like nothing is going your way and you want to do is go hide and lock yourself in your room and never come out. I know you are always worrying about the future and what could possibly go wrong again. I know you are worried about getting things done and how in the world you are going to make the time to do it again. Trust me, I know and you are never alone.
To the girl who always worries, I hope you know that everything will be OK in the end. I know there are times when you feel stuck, and that is okay. It is OK to not have everything figured out yet, because I promise you, you will figure it out, It is okay to be buried in your thoughts surrounded by your anxiety. You probably feel like you have to apologize, so please don’t. It is okay to feel the way you feel. You are not perfect; but you are human. People may not understand why you feel the way you feel and if they really cared about you than they would make a huge effort to understand. Make sure you are surrounded with people who are willing to walk with you through times of trouble and stay away from the ones who could honestly care less.

To the girl who always worries, I know you worry about what other people think about you. I know that you try to change yourself into the person other people want you to be. I hope you come to the realization that it is okay to be yourself. You should never have to get the approval of another person for you to fit in. You don’t have to fit in to be happy; all you have to do is be you. Your true friends will like you just the way you are. Please don’t ever let a person change who you are. You are perfect just the way you are and nobody has the right to change that.

To the girl who always worries, I have a surprise for you. None of this will matter in the future. That test you failed? It won’t matter when you first start your career in ten years. You humiliated yourself in front of the whole school? They won’t remember that in five years. In twenty years, nothing will matter anymore. Who cares if you wore designer clothing or carried a really expensive purse. Who cares if you bombed that final mid term exam and have to repeat the class over again, at least you tried your hardest. Who cares?I most certainly don’t. Nobody will remember it. Everything is temporary just like this world we live in.

To the girl who always worries, I know I said it once I will say it again. Everything will be okay in the end. Take a breath and reflect on all of the good things that have happened in your life.
I want you to start giving every single worry to God, because He will take care of you. God even tells us to in Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” He also tells us this in 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” You should never be afraid to give him your worries because you are His daughter and He loves you and will take care of you. I promise you that you will feel so much better knowing that you have such an almighty God who will take care of you.

Matthew 6:27 tells us, “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” Jesus tells us we have nothing to worry about. We will not benefit from anything, and in the end we are worrying for nothing. God is control, not us. I know it is hard to trust Him, and you would prefer you take control of your life, but I promise you that His plan is better than yours will ever be. In Jeremiah 29:11, God tells us “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He already has your whole life planned for you and it’s an amazing one. Let him be in control.

To the girl who always worries, the last thing I have to say is I hope you know that you are loved by so many people and loved even more by an Almighty God. I hope you know that you are a hard worker and are admired by so many people, even when you do not believe it. Remember that as long as you try your hardest and continue to do your best, than that is all that matters. I am proud of you no matter what.
Hannah Elizabeth 

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Anxiety Made Me Do It

I wanted to go that party, but I couldn’t do it, because anxiety said everybody would think I am a freak.
I would have gone on the retreat, but anxiety told me I couldn’t handle being away from home.
I would have presented that presentation, but anxiety told me everybody would laugh at me.

I wanted to go to that concert, but anxiety said the crowds would make me sick.

I didn’t mean to lie to you, anxiety told me you would hate me if I told you the truth.

No, I wasn’t busy, anxiety told me y’all would leave me out.

I can’t come, I’m sorry, anxiety said I have to stay at home all weekend.

No I can’t eat that, I’m sorry, anxiety said it would make me fat.

I would love to go on a date with you, but I can’t, anxiety said no boys allowed.

I’m sorry I missed your class today, anxiety said it wasn’t safe for me to get out of bed today.

Please ask for me, anxiety said I talk weird.

I wanted to wear that, but anxiety said I wasn’t skinny enough.

I’m sorry I can’t talk today. Anxiety said to not be social.

Please don’t make me go. Anxiety said I would be better off at home in bed.

Do I have to go? Anxiety said it was no place for me.

I can’t talk to him, anxiety said he will think I am a freak.

I don’t want to talk to day, anxiety said I’m better off listening.

Please don’t call on me in class, anxiety said my answers are stupid.

No, I don’t want to go dancing, anxiety told me people would laugh at me.

Are you mad at me? Anxiety said I ruined our friendship.

Did I say something wrong? Anxiety told me I shouldn’t have said that.

I don’t mean to act like this, anxiety told me people would like me if I did.

I don’t want to go alone, anxiety said I couldn’t handle it.

I’m sorry. Anxiety made me do it.
Hannah Elizabeth

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I Know He Is Out There

There was this guy. He was super sweet and so good to me. He treated me with respect but there was something about him that I forced myself to be okay with. He drank and partied a lot, he cussed and stayed out super late at night. He claimed to be a Christian, but we know that is not how a Christian acts. I have been longing for the guy who is willing to pursue me with a heart after the God. He will not party and consume his body with alcohol. He will not cuss and have respect for others. I told myself I would never find a guy like this but what I learned from this one relationship, is that my guy is out there for me. I have to wait for God to place him in my life when its time.
Don’t settle for the guy who does not have the same morals as you. It may seem like that you will never meet the guy who values you and respects you with a heart after God, but I promise he is out there for you. In today’s society it is hard to find a guy with those types of morals and values, so us girls try to accept the party type who drinks all day, but in reality we may seem happy on the inside because of how sweet and respectful he is to us, but on the inside, we hate this side of him and long for him to stop this. We think we can hopefully change him, but we know deep down that it will be impossible.

The most comforting thing to know is that God already has this special someone picked out for us, we just have to wait for God to say that it is time for him to come into our lives. (Or who knows he may already be in your life.) We long for that guy to come into our lives now and freak out because we don’t want to end up living alone, but in reality, we know that we will never be alone according to God. He has our future planned out and we just have to continue walking int the right path according to His will.
The for you is out there. He is patiently waiting for you as you are waiting for him. He wants to pursue and continue chasing you for the rest of your lives. He will sweep you off your feet and treat you like the real jewel you are. He will bring you closer to God and always protect you from harm’s way. He makes sure to remind you how much he loves you and never stop showing you how much he does. He will be the same person on a Friday night has he is a Sunday morning. He will pray with you and for you always. He will be the best thing that God has given you.

It may seem like the guy for you will never be out there, but according to God, we have to be focused only on Him and constantly put Him first. It may seem like forever for God to put that guy in your life, but I promise you it will all be worth it in the end. Don’t go to the one who parties with the different morals. I promise the one who stays away from that toxic stuff is out there. He is waiting for you, but are you waiting for him?

Hannah Elizabeth

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What Makes A Guy Unattractive 

There was this one guy. He was so attractive. My best friend and I would always talk about how cute he was. Based on what I saw from his social media, he was a really good guy. He loved his family, friends, the sport he was passionate about, active in school, adored kids (every girls weakness), and the best part, he loved Jesus. Loving Jesus was the best part. A guy who loves Jesus, like really loves Jesus, makes him really attractive. But what I have learned, is that just because he loves Jesus doesn’t make him fully attractive. He has to act like Jesus too. My friend and I got to know him more and he became a really good friend of ours. What if one of us potentially dated him? That would’ve been wonderful, I mean he was so cute! He may have loved Jesus, but he sure did not act like Him. He talked real ugly to people and we learned that he was actually a pervert. He didn’t care to get to know a girl. He wasn’t even ready for a relationship, yet he still wanted something. Hearing about what this guy instantly made him go from so hot, to so not attractive. He does not act like a proper, respectful gentlmen at all. He would be the perfect example of a teenage boy.
There was this other guy. He was also very attractive. He loved God, and his family so very much. He even talked about them all the time. Like this other he wanted something else. It amazes me how unattractive a guy can become hearing how disrespectful he is. He came off as the sweet, respectful, down to earth gentleman, but as I was before, I was wrong.

A guy can become unattractive just by how disrespectful he treats a girl. He becomes unattractive when he goes off every weekend to get wasted. His disrespectful tone can slowly change the outlook you see in him. Hearing how he jumps from girl to girl and the horrible things he says about her makes him ugly. His laziness and carelessness isn’t the most attractive thing either.

It is quite sad how quickly a guy can turn so unattractive just by the way he talks or the way he acts. I have found since starting college have seen many attractive guys that I have later found not so attractive anymore.

I’m not saying he has to perfect, I’m saying he has to simply be respectful, kind, caring, loving, and a Son of God.
Hannah Elizabeth

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Where Did Dating Go?

Being a 90s baby, I have experienced the evolution of the changes of dating. It went from the guy coming up to you in person and asking you on a date to “sliding into the DMs” on Twitter. What happened there? Even though I have seen this I have never gotten to experience a guy coming up to me and asking me on a date. Sadly, I have been asked over a text message or through a twitter direct message.
Whatever happened to dating?
Whatever happened to a guy coming up to you to introduce himself to you? Now that boy is directing messaging you on social media and asking someone for your number. Why isn’t he coming up to you and asking you for your number? Why can’t he ask you out in person instead of over a text message? If he liked you that much would he have the guts to come up to you and and ask you on a date?

Whatever happened to being friends first? Why do we have to go ahead and rush into dating. I like to take things slow and get to know the guy first. I want to be able to know everything about him. What he likes, doesn’t like, favorite food, movie, color, fears, triumphs, EVERYTHING. I don’t want to meet a guy and instantly start dating him. I want to be able to start off with being friends for a while than if we really start to like each, we can start moving forward and see what it would be like if we did start to date.

Whatever happened to the simple dates? Why can’t we go grab lunch after school one day and than another day we go to a movie? Why does it have to be a full on date that costs the guy so much money. Why can’t we have a movie night instead of going to a fancy restaurant? What about ice cream? Who doesn’t love ice cream? I want to be able to go on a date and spend time with the boy I really care about and talk to him. I want to ask him about his day, did he have a good week? I want to talk about the bad days with him and know whats wrong so I can help him along the way. Why can’t things be simple?

What is with the labels? Society now everyone has a label. “Talking”, “Dating,” “Boyfriend and Girlfriend,” “Taking a break” or “Friends with benefits.” What is it with these labels and the “what are we stage?” People will take full advantage if they get the benefits without having to put in any effort.

Swipe right or swipe left? Why are there even dating apps? I’m not against them at all, but why can’t a person swipe right on their profile because their bio has a lot in common with them, rather than swiping left because he or she isn’t cute. Who knows you could have just swiped left on your future spouse. Why do we have to judge one another by our looks? Were all created in the image of God and that is so amazing to think about everyday.

Why do we have to have sex? Why does a couple after dating for so long and they aren’t married have to have sex? I’m a personal believer that that should wait until marriage. It is something that should be with your spouse, because what happens if you break up? I think the best intimacy is getting to sit and talk to one another a lot. Just sit, talk, and enjoy one another’s company.
Why do couples have to be so clingy 24/7 in public? Why do they have to make out and be lovey dovey all the time in front of everybody. Whats wrong with just a simple peck on the lips or cheek and holding hands?

I wish we could go back to the good ole days. I wish a guy would come up to a girl and start talking to her and ask her for her phone number and see if she wants to hang out. Why can’t everything be so simple anymore?
Hannah Elizabeth

Spiritual Walk

A Prayer For Becoming A Future Wife

Dear Lord,
I know that you have my future husband picked out for me. I know you know what he looks like, his personality, the way he acts, the way he talks, the way he walks, his flaws, his mistakes, and his heart. I know that you have saved him just for me and that makes him so special. I pray that you mold me into the kind of Christian woman that I need to be for him.

I pray that you help me be the type of wife that my husband needs in his life. I know I am not perfect, but I pray you turn my emotional, rude habits, into kind, loving, patient, gentle and self-controlled traits. I know that I won’t be able to be this type of wife without your help Lord. I know that only you are able to transform me. I ask that you give me a tender heart and continue to strengthen me and doesn’t give way to fear. Give me a heart filled with love, compassion, and grace and not one filled with wrongdoings. Help me be able to love him just like you love us.

I pray that you give me the characteristics of a loving a supporting wife. I pray that you give me the right attitude to have no matter the situation we are in. Help me recognize all of his efforts, strengths and courageous acts. I pray that I am able support him in all of his decisions he makes. I pray that I am able to have a servant heart and walk by him in our journey of faith. I pray that I am able to continue to encourage him on his goals. I pray that I become his biggest cheerleader as I watch you work his talents in his life. Remind me to turn my focus away from his faults and flaws, and turn me towards his wonderful achievements.

I pray that we are able to go to battle and have victories together. I pray that we are able to walk with whatever battle comes our way. I pray that we are able to remember to keep you in the center our relationship and trust you with our lives. I pray that you give me the wisdom and understanding to bear through this. Equip us with the armor we need in order to go into battle. I want to be ready to fight this with him by my side.
I pray that you are able to prepare me with whatever path you set my husband and I on. No matter what he is, a soldier, firefighter, farmer, doctor, teacher, missionary I pray that I am able to help meet him wherever he is meant to go.

I pray that I am able to become his best friend. I want to become his enduring wife. I want us to be able to grow old together. I want us to always walk together in life and always have each other by our sides. I pray that our love for each other will never die. I want the days we spend together to feel like Heaven on earth.

I pray that you are able to form me into a Proverbs 31 woman. I pray that I am able to help take care of my family physically and financially. Help me always realize that after a hard day of work I am able to come home and realize how blessed I am for the wonderful family you have given me. Help me able to do all the things that a loving wife and mother should be able to do. Help me be a good cook, cleaner, provider, supporter, and teacher.

Lord, please come into my heart and help prepare me to be the woman my husband needs to be. I am ready to be a working servant in your hands Lord. I want to become a wife of the word, not a wife of the world.

Love,
Hannah Elizabeth 

Letters

An Open Letter to the Boy Who Broke Up With Me Because of my Anxiety Disorder

We were not in the best part of our relationship at the time. We fought like any other relationship, but it got to the point where I was tired of it. I was about to end up but you beat me to it. Your reasoning was very schocking to me. It was a reasoning I never did expect. 

You broke up with me cause you said and I quote “I cannot handle your anxiety.” 

When you said those words, it literally felt like somebody actually ripped my heart out. My throat got tight. My stomach was turning. I was hoping that maybe I heard it wrong. I unfortunately did not hear it wrong at all. 

For months I have dreaded over you. At first I did not care at all about our break up. I did not even cry which was the best part. Later I eventually did and I did not know why until I remember why I did. 

You broke up with me because you couldn’t handle my anxiety. 

You taught me something very important. Sadly it took me a while to learn it, but I finally did. I learned that I need a guy who is willing to deal with me and my anxiety. I need a guy who does not let it define me unlike you did. I need a guy who is willing to help me through it. I need a guy who is willing to accept that I have it and it is a part of my life. 

So thank you. Thank you for teaching me this. Because of you I do have trust issues when it comes to a boy and whether or not they can take my anxiety and I as a package deal or not. But I have learned that it is a good thing. It saves my heart from all the heartaches. 

Sincerely,

A girl who is more than her anxiety